Discernment or Judgement
Discerning or Judging…which is it? Many people today have very little understanding between the two and as such you will hear people, in their error exclaim, “Don’t judge me…. Do not judge lest you be judged… You are being judgmental… Are you sinless?” The list is rather exhaustive. But what or who are these statements being leveled at? Is this person being judgmental or discerning? What is the difference? The fact that many people reach for the judgement label whenever they encounter a discerning person is troubling. So, what is the difference between judgement and discernment?
Judgement and discernment are two different words meaning they ought to have difference in meanings… and they do. One is condemnation of an individual, and the other is understanding the difference between a good or a bad thought or idea. While I could give you a definition of the two…it is better to display and show the difference.
One of the most common charges of judging or being judgmental is when a person points out a particular sin that another individual believes encapsulates them and thus understands the intentions of their heart. For example, if one individual points out that homosexuality is evil, sinful and wrong. They are often accosted as being judgmental or condemning the other…and that is often before the person has time to explain his pronouncement. Why? Is this person being judgmental or condemning another? No, for he is merely stating a fact. So, why the charge? Because the individual laying the charge of judgement against a discerning pronouncement is confusing discernment with condemnation… Why? Because that individual may themselves feel that their sin is being called out, or they know another who engages in that sinful behavior. But if that pronouncement was about bestiality, they would not levy a charge against the individual of being judgmental because they do not engage in such behavior nor do they know someone that does…
So, what is discernment? Discernment is the art of discerning right from wrong, from good behavior or actions to bad behavior or actions. From good thoughts to bad thoughts. When a person says that murdering someone is a bad thing, he is discerning right action from a bad one. It is what enables the police to seek out the murderer but just because that man points out that murder is bad, does that mean he is condemning? No... he is pointing out that murdering a person is an evil act. If on the other hand, he exclaims, “you Murderer!” then, he is calling out the individual for the act he committed. Two things happen…one, he has discerned that this man has done wrong. This opens door of opportunity for that person who committed the wrong to repent of their wrongdoing. And secondly, and this is the more dangerous one, assuming they know what is within that person’s heart.
But, to illustrate another point, if a man says that being a drunkard is sinful and harmful, is he condemning everyone that drinks alcohol? No, he is pointing out that the excessive consumption of alcohol can destroy a human body and mind. But he has not gone into a bar and condemned the bartender for being a drunkard.
To be discerning is to know the difference between right living and wrong living. To be discerning is to know what to do and what not to do. However, to be judgmental means that you have levied a charge against someone assuming you know their heart. But why would someone say you are being judgmental towards them when you are merely discerning that the behavior in question is sinful? Well, therein lies the crux. The desire to protect either their own sinfulness or the sinfulness of another from being uncovered.
If a person should proclaim that you should not cheat on your wife with another woman, is he being judgmental towards you or is he trying to warn you about the poor choices that you are making which will hurt you, your children and your current wife?
If he proclaims that you are swearing too much and you need to control it, is he being judgmental or trying to bring to your attention something that needs to be addressed for your own reputation?
If he proclaims that homosexuality is sinful, is he condemning you or trying to remind you of why you are made and what you are made to do?
And to highlight one more point, people that often exclaim, “stop judging me…Don’t judge lest you be judged”, more often than not, are people that believe to some extent, what you are discerning as wrong, is actually right, whether they are aware of it or not.
Just because you believe it to be right, does it make it true? No matter how loudly a person may exclaim that homosexuality is okay or not sinful, or they shift to blame you for discerning right and wrong saying you are being judgmental…doesn’t tell me whether it is true or not, but just how badly they desire their own sins as it is written, “those that do evil avoid the light lest their deeds be exposed.” And we all have our own besetting sins; that is human nature. On a side note, Jesus knows all your sins, even the ones in the dark. But that’s not the issue at hand. The issue at hand is discernment versus judgement…
So, the question becomes twofold…first, if they think I am judging them because they are deceived and are making bad decisions, does that mean talking about the sin should be off the books for fear that they are going to be offended and will not listen? And two, how may it be properly shown to them that there is no condemnation being levied against them, but, a mere statement of fact, so that they can possibly make the right decisions regarding their sins and repent of them?
One of the tactics of the devil is confusion, and if a discerning person brings up the truth about a sin, the devil will try to convince that hearer that the discerning person is judgmental and if that individual is deceived then, it becomes much harder for him to see his sin for what it is because he will not hear the correction nor the rebuke. That individual’s knee-jerk reaction can lead him away from hearing the correction he needs to hear to live… Like the alcoholic that can’t put down the beer who scorns the caring wife who is telling him to stop drinking, only for him to either drink himself to death or destroy his life. But, if he repents and is willing to hear, he may find that he was never being judged to begin with, but being told that if he continued his path, it would lead to ruin and thus spare him the misery he was bringing upon himself.
The discerning father tells his son, “Do not play with the fire lest you get burned.” The son believing his father is being overcautious or too judgmental, willfully touches the fire and burns his hand, only then does he repent and turn to his dad and exclaim, “Why? Why didn’t you tell me? Why?”
The analogue is a perfect example of God and Humanity. In fact, it is written, that he will be called Abba…Aramaic for Father. God, the Father. And if you look at all the things he says don’t do, it isn’t because he is overly cautious or judgmental…but rather like a good father, he tells his children not to do that which will hurt them. Therein lies the difference. The loving father saying don’t do that son/daughter versus the judge saying don’t or else…
One more point to show… If a discerning doctor says, “Hey, you are getting morbidly obese and that can lead to serious health issues…” You have two options, look at the doctor indignantly for calling you fat saying they are just being judgmental and order them to stop judging you because you are just fine… in three years’ time, you have diabetes or heart attack OR take him under advisement, repent and change your diet…
I only brought this up because of a fad that came around on social media of something called “Fat Pride.” And it is effectively morbidly obese people telling doctors they are just fine, while their bodies are dying on the inside because the doctor is being too judgmental.
But…as long as people who have the gift of discernment get called off for being judgmental, the worse society becomes. And to put the nail in the coffin…
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matt 7:1-5
Notice that Jesus isn’t saying do not judge at all. But rather examine yourself to see if you are also doing what they are doing and correct yourself before you correct others…
In other words, acknowledge that you are under the same standard and do your best to repent and walk correctly. It is as if one drunk is telling another drunk, “we must stop this, we are killing ourselves…” one can discern that this is not right and he is pointing it out. That is not judgment but acknowledgement.
Look at what Paul says in Galatians 6:1
“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”
In other words, recognize your brother's sin and help him — and examine yourself because you are also capable of sin.
But beware of the two extremes:
“I am a sinner; therefore, I cannot tell you something is wrong,” That’s apathy
“I know something is wrong; therefore, I must be morally superior to you.” That’s arrogance.
But rather:
“I am a sinner under the same standard that I am asking you to follow.” That’s humility.